Perks Ponderer Gifts

'The company bought you a health club membership, and now you want to take sick leave?'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

Optimist, Pessimist, Surrealist.

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.