Perks Ponderer Pillows

'The company bought you a health club membership, and now you want to take sick leave?'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Retirement Issues

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

Optimist, Pessimist, Surrealist.

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."