Premium Ponderer Pillows

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

"It's a card from your insurance company. It says, get well quickly or we'll raise your premiums."

'The annual premium actually comes to more than your total coverage.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Robot Attack in Bath

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Retirement Issues

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.