Premium Ponderer Gifts

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

"It's a card from your insurance company. It says, get well quickly or we'll raise your premiums."

'The annual premium actually comes to more than your total coverage.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Robot Attack in Bath

Retirement Issues

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."