People Intrigued By The Absurd Gifts

"Oh dear, Ms. Werthington always was afraid she'd die like that."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Tourists and their Pets.

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Monster Clown

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

UFO and snowman

Breakfast surreal.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

The Bonvoy Age...

Magnet at scrapyard

The Hypnotato,

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Cow Pat Planning

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.