Fans Of The Absurd Gifts

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

Which of you is the gent who thinks he's invisible?'

Magnet at scrapyard

"You and your vintage French coach experience."

The Hypnotato,

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Tourists and their Pets.

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Bonvoy Age...

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

Cow Pat Planning

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.