Lovers Of Absurdity Gifts

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Bush's War on Ambiguity

Radio interview with mime artist.

Burglary

"That reminds me. We need to pick up some miniature cocktail weenies, and a box of raisins."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Tourists and their Pets.

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

Breakfast surreal.

Baseball.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver