Lovers Of Absurd Comedy Gifts

'There's nothing worse than getting a stone in your shoe.'

"He was a sea rescue."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Monster Clown

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Magnet at scrapyard

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

The Hypnotato,

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

Cow Pat Planning

River Source

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

Golfer in a tree.

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'Go long!'

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

Hospital Food

Which of you is the gent who thinks he's invisible?'

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'