Lovers Of Unconventional Humor Gifts

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Returns"

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

Cow Pat Planning

Witch crashes into building on her broom and safety airbag deploys.

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"He still hasn't figured out how to get out of his invisible cubicle."

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

"Control yourselves!... I only said you may kiss the bride!"

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

'That's what you get for discovering gravity, Sir Isaac.'

STILL LIVES - 'I never know if I'm coming or going with you!'

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

"It being Saturday night, the gods have asked for pizza."

"It's nice, but I fell in love with a caterpillar."

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

One of the disciples fools around at the Last Supper.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

The Grim Raker

Tall man struggling to fit in his bath