Lovers Of Absurd Humor Gifts

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

Pin the fish on the bull.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

"D'you know I believe you're right - there isn't any water in here!"

'How long has it been this way?'

'There's something very dehumanizing about being mugged by an iguana.'

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'

Two drunken men trying to fit into the same coat.

Fishing

'Will you knock off the 'rub - adub - tub' stuff!'

'Well, Mr. Seigal, what are we filing a claim for?'

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"And you've just been to Canada?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Monster Clown

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...