Lovers Of Absurd Humor T-Shirts

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

Pin the fish on the bull.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

"D'you know I believe you're right - there isn't any water in here!"

'How long has it been this way?'

'There's something very dehumanizing about being mugged by an iguana.'

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'

Two drunken men trying to fit into the same coat.

Fishing

'Will you knock off the 'rub - adub - tub' stuff!'

'Well, Mr. Seigal, what are we filing a claim for?'

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"And you've just been to Canada?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"He was a sea rescue."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Monster Clown

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Baseball.

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

UFO and snowman

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...