Absurdist Humor Lovers T-Shirts

"Take one thousand steps backward, turn, and fire."

At the Ice Pick Test dept.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Boomerang cow.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Monster Clown

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Franz Kafka

Eugene Ionesco

Breakfast surreal.

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Cow Pat Planning

NO ANCHOVIES!, 'It's getting harder and harder to keep up with politics these days.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

Surreal war artist.