Absurd Humor Lover T-Shirts

'Off hand, I'd say you're suffering from an arrow through your head, but just to play it safe, I'm ordering a bunch of tests.'

'Well son, it seems a bit of a fuss for an overdue library book.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"For God's sake, Jenkins, don't jump - you could hit someone on the head!"

All the guests were very impressed with Roger's hunting collection, particularly his prized Man-eating Shark An actual guy ( eating shark ) as a trophy hanging up on a wall

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'We know. He's just fixing the antenna.'

'Everything was going my way, and then they have to call a stupid writers' strike!'

Plastic explosive surgeon.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Plummer plays with leaky tape to find a mans head coming out

One armed bandit workout.

"Of course, being beached isn't all bad."

Said the castaway to his coconut.

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"If it's still following me around at noon, you'll bet I'll eat it."

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Apple Pie Abduction

Pastry Hat

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Extreme Sisyphus

Boomerang cow.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Franz Kafka

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."