Absurdist Humor Lovers Gifts

"Take one thousand steps backward, turn, and fire."

At the Ice Pick Test dept.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Boomerang cow.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Monster Clown

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Franz Kafka

Eugene Ionesco

Breakfast surreal.

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Cow Pat Planning

NO ANCHOVIES!, 'It's getting harder and harder to keep up with politics these days.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

Surreal war artist.