Lovers Of The Absurd Gifts

'Centre for the study of obscure and useless things.'

'Go long!'

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

Your gallstones polished & mounted.

Church of St. Mary the Contrary.

"I think I may have accidentally packed you a rhinoceros."

"He was a sea rescue."

Flying Pigs

'The Ridiculous Slippers Shop'

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October

'Hey, at least I'm not a cliche.'

River Source

Mensa Application Form.

'Yes, I became a fly and returned to humankind. It's great to be back, but gosh, do I miss hovering over garbage.'

High wire acrobat balancing with two heads.

"That's one heck of a splinter."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Salvador Dali's cats.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

UFO and snowman

Breakfast surreal.

Baseball.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'