Love Of The Absurd Gifts

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"He was a sea rescue."

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Salvador Dali's cats.

Breakfast surreal.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Magnet at scrapyard

The Bonvoy Age...

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Hypnotato,

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."