Loves Absurdity Gifts

'Psst! You wanna buy some pockets?'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"He was a sea rescue."

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Baseball.

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"Larry! Swine flu!"

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

PODs Venn Diagram

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Trapeze artists commuting

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Bonvoy Age...

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'