Pensioner Gifts

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Bad times for retirees.

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'Who needs a pension when you're old?'

'It's a disgrace What we couldn't afford when we were young but poor is what we don't need now that we're rich but old'

"You look good for your age."

Pension Shortfall - 'Are we going to have to re-enlist?'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

". . . And if they weren't killed during World War III, or by climate change, or from obesity related heart-attacks. . . . then they are probably alive today. Living in old age poverty."

"With social security and writing articles against socialism, I get by."

"No, accepting the popcorn doesn't obligate you in any way."

'..Bert Higgins,O.A.P..'

"It's the Florida kid."

"If we throw in your assets plus all those unused gift cards, I think we've got you a retirement plan!"

'Look, here comes our 'meals on wheels'.'

'It may well have saved us a few bob out of our meagre pension, dear, but next time I'm going to Giovanni's!'

'Bad luck Harry, they've just raised the retirement age.'

'Our retirement plan is to transfer you to our burger joint division, to suppliment your secial security.'

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"Sorry, grandma. We need the money for 'our' retirement."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"Well, I guess that pretty much takes care of our retirement plans."

'Oh yes, when I was a young mongoose, I would fight cobras, but my reflexes are not what they used to be now...'

'There are many fleeting things in this crazy adventure we call life...fame, love, pensions...'

'I'm retiring tomorrow. . . do you have any 'So Long, Suckers' cards?'

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

"I actually retired two years ago, but I haven't told the company yet."

'I dare say kids do grow up a lot faster these days but the answer's still no!'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Retirement Age

"If I were you I'd talk to him again later after he's had his nap."