Pensioner Lifestyle Gifts

"The only joints we roll these days are our ankles."

"So, we meet again."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I don't know who you are!"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."