Pensioner Lifestyle Gifts

"The only joints we roll these days are our ankles."

"So, we meet again."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I don't know who you are!"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'