Modern Pensioner Gifts

The walking frame for the mobile immobile.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Grandad Prodigy

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"The only joints we roll these days are our ankles."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Bad luck Harry, they've just raised the retirement age.'

The Lesser Pyramids