Pensioner Activities Gifts

Aging Today.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Pilot with champagne.

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Church Basement Foodie

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."