Peculiar Habit Lover Pillows

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Storage Unit of Love

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

Man buying the same clothes as he already owns

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

'Come home, Fred. It's Sunday.'

"You still haven't told me why your last girlfriend dumped you"

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

I buy anything.

"You're in my spot!"

Brian took the annual pea-shooting competition very seriously indeed!

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"

Post-Modern Parenting

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

'I told you there'd be trouble, if you didn't buy your usual.'

I started biting my lip...and look where that got me!

Drying your hands on trousers.

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

'Ron's managed to stop smoking but he's put on an awful lot of weight.'