Pearly Gates Humorist Gifts

"I'm afraid we don't accept bribes here, sir."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Daffodil bulbs

COWMIKAZES

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Heavenly Take Out

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

"I forgot to call in dead."

"Dude, don't say it..."

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.

Daybreak at bulb camp

Light Switch

Things to do in the area.

'Sudden death?'

That's okay --- Nobody would get in if we included cheating on diets.

Shower before entering heaven.