Paw-some Humorist Gifts

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Scuba cow"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Cats at private view

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."