Paw-sitive Jokester Gifts

'Lick your feet, 10p.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

Leaving cards.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Jill, you didn't use this volumising shampoo when you washed the dog did you?"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Hang Time Fido

'Tender and Juicy.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Summer Reading

"An olive or a twist?"

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

'One last question... Dog person or cat person?'

"Let's just hope the cat doesn't have anymore kittens."

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

'Harland, we want a divorce.'

"I thought we said no presents!"