Paw-sitive Jokester Pillows

'Lick your feet, 10p.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Leaving cards.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Let's see those smiles.'

"Jill, you didn't use this volumising shampoo when you washed the dog did you?"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Hang Time Fido

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

Summer Reading

"Oh, Jeez! A pube in my tea! How the heck did that get there?"

"An olive or a twist?"

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'One last question... Dog person or cat person?'

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'Harland, we want a divorce.'

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

"Let's just hope the cat doesn't have anymore kittens."

"Have you seen my sticks?"