Patient Techie Gifts

'Slow Connection'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

Ascent of Machine.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Invest in technology."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

All the apps hidden within a phone

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

I've always been slower than computers...

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."