Healthcare Technician Gifts

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"Oh no, that's just his breath-hold initiation signal. It tells me he's ready, plus it makes him feel better."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Our war is against cancer."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Well, well, well...'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Social distancing

"The first one's just a warning."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'