Healthcare Technician Gifts

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"Oh no, that's just his breath-hold initiation signal. It tells me he's ready, plus it makes him feel better."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

vaccine wars.

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Our war is against cancer."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Well, well, well...'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Social distancing

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"The first one's just a warning."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."