Maintenance Technician Gifts

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

"Congratulations,we're giving you the key to the executive sewer."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

Electrician

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'Well, well, well...'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Early cyborg.

"Take me to your mechanic."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"He loves his leaf blower."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

Congratulations on your retirement!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Cat Scan

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer