Maintenance Technician Gifts

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

"Congratulations,we're giving you the key to the executive sewer."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

Electrician

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'Well, well, well...'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Take me to your mechanic."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Cat Scan

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

Not much money, glory, or praise

High speed cinder block

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies