Techie In The Pews Gifts

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Follow God On Twitter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Why god isn't listening...

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"If you'll mute your phones, I'll mute mine."

"Great news pastor, we can just use the WiFi from the bar across the street."

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior