Techie In The Pews Prints

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Follow God On Twitter

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Why god isn't listening...

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"If you'll mute your phones, I'll mute mine."

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior

"Great news pastor, we can just use the WiFi from the bar across the street."