Prayerful Techie Gifts

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

Knee-Mail

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I have an app for that."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Are we allowed to pray?"

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

Why god isn't listening...

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

"I hate this damn thing!"

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Do you mind if I pray just this once?'

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Guru Needs Tech Support

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior

"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.