Church Techies Gifts

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

Polly txt speak

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

First O.M.G. church.

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

Cybernetics Research Lab.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

You Have 1 New Messages

Holy phone

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Pete's trying to groom himself"

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Why god isn't listening...

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

No Connection.

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

CAN'T FIND CHARGER

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'You called for tech support?'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

"No need to log out...you already have."

"Let's face it, no one, apart from Google, knows we're here."

"This can't be heaven. There's no free wifi."

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

'Now we come to step 86 of how to enter your new computer logins.'