Church Techies Pillows

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

Polly txt speak

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

Cybernetics Research Lab.

First O.M.G. church.

Holy phone

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Why god isn't listening...

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Pete's trying to groom himself"

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

No Connection.

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

CAN'T FIND CHARGER

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'You called for tech support?'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

"This can't be heaven. There's no free wifi."

"No need to log out...you already have."

"Practicing social distancing is nothing new. We've been practicing it for years."

"Let's face it, no one, apart from Google, knows we're here."

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

"It's the new LED model."