Church Technology Lover Pillows

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Follow God On Twitter

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Why god isn't listening...

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

"If you'll mute your phones, I'll mute mine."

"Great news pastor, we can just use the WiFi from the bar across the street."

Usher about usher with metal detector: 'He's checking for cell phones.'

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

"Are they enabled for software updates and the like?"

'It sendeth, but receiveth not.'