Church Tech Wizard Pillows

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Follow God On Twitter

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Why god isn't listening...

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"He calls it the eBible."

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

The Pope tweets

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."