Tech In Worship Pillows

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Why god isn't listening...

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

'New Charismatic'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

"If you'll mute your phones, I'll mute mine."

"Great news pastor, we can just use the WiFi from the bar across the street."

Usher about usher with metal detector: 'He's checking for cell phones.'

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

'OMG! Who art in heaven...'