High-tech Congregation Member Pillows

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Follow God On Twitter

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

Jesus Saves

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

'Click on the icon.'

'New Charismatic'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."