Tech Worshiper Pillows

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

"Textin’"

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Why god isn't listening...

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

Divine Cell

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"Hi, Mum, I'm last in the race, but I do have the best mobile."

Couple are so focused on their cellphones they don't notice their house burning down around them.

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

'New Religion'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Wi-Fi

"I asked my mom for a new iPhone, and she said she would 'get right on it.' Luckily, I have an app that alerts me of sarcasm."

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'