Tech-loving Deity Pillows

Divine Cell

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Religion and technology.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Palm Top Readings

Plugged In

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'Does it come with any Apps'

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

'Please have a seat while I review your internet history.'

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

The answers you seek are within yourself. But ok, the capitol of Bulgaria is Sofia. Zen Siri.

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Binary meditation.

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'