Tech-loving Spiritualist Pillows

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

"Christmas pudcast"

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Cable Bill.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

Holy phone

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

Divine Cell

No Connection.

The answers you seek are within yourself. But ok, the capitol of Bulgaria is Sofia. Zen Siri.

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."