Tech-loving Spiritualist Pillows

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

First O.M.G. church.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Christmas pudcast"

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Cable Bill.

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

You Have 1 New Messages

Holy phone

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Palm Top Readings

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

Divine Cell

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'