Tech-savvy Spiritual Seeker Pillows

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Cable Bill.

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

End of world nigh!!!

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

Holy phone

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

'I'm texting my inner child.'

Palm Top Readings

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."