Spiritual Tech Enthusiast Pillows

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Guru Needs Tech Support

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Cable Bill.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

Holy phone

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Palm Top Readings

Why god isn't listening...

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

www.meditation.commm

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

No Connection.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Binary meditation.