Spiritual Tech Enthusiasts Pillows

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

"You're not in the database. It must've been a near-death experience."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

First O.M.G. church.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Cable Bill.

You Have 1 New Messages

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Holy phone

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Palm Top Readings

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

www.meditation.commm

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

No Connection.

Jesus Saves

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Binary meditation.

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'