Spiritual Techies Pillows

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'You called for tech support?'

"Could you hold a second?...I have a call."

"Sorry - your guru isn't in at the moment, but please leave a message after the tone: Ommmmmmm....."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"I'm going on a retreat."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

First O.M.G. church.

Cable Bill.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

You Have 1 New Messages

Holy phone

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Palm Top Readings

Why god isn't listening...

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

www.meditation.commm

Jesus Saves

No Connection.

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Binary meditation.

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"