Religious Techies Pillows

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Holy phone

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Why god isn't listening...

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

No Connection.

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

"What format shalt I save these in?"

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Jesus Saves

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'Click on the icon.'

'You called for tech support?'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."