Religious Techies Prints

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Holy phone

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Why god isn't listening...

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

Jesus Saves

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

No Connection.

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

'Click on the icon.'

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

'You called for tech support?'

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."