Religion And Tech Fan Prints

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Why god isn't listening...

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

Guru Needs Tech Support

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

Peter Cottontail's Blog.

"So, does God always call people to the ministry or can he text too?"

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

"You're not in the database. It must've been a near-death experience."

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

The gates of heaven have security cameras.

Just type your name, fill in the amount and pass the collection iPad to your right.

"Never pay attention again!"