Religious Tech Enthusiasts Pillows

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

Jesus Saves

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

Guru Needs Tech Support

'Click on the icon.'

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.

"Ok - now press, 'saved'."

'Glory be! Father Ignatius has been enabled.'

"You're not in the database. It must've been a near-death experience."

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

May I have my phone back so I can see how my girlfriend responded to the text message I sent right before I crashed into you?