Religious Tech Fans Pillows

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Jesus Saves

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

Guru Needs Tech Support

'Click on the icon.'

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

You look terrible. What happened. I didn't sleep a wink. I quit multitasking. Not I'm jittery. I'm bored. I've got all this restless energy. I stayed up all night sweaty, twitching, hallucinating about emailing from my cellphone while driving. A tech addict withdraws. Hook the Xbox into my veins, man!

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."

'Glory be! Father Ignatius has been enabled.'

"Ok - now press, 'saved'."

Sign on church's marquee: Confessionals 6pm Tues & Thurs fax's accepted.